And I don't mean like when a weird dude is eyeballing you in church. No, I mean of the creepy crawly, slithering along the ground kind. Yes, I am talking about snakes. Feel free to flee now before I put the photos up.
All of the weak stomachs gone? Alright. A few weeks ago I was walking along, doing my calf chores, when I hear a slithering sound (which was actually pretty incredible, considering I had my headphones on listening to music), and spotted the tail end of something green and yellow disappear into the weeds by the calves, not six inches from my foot. I stopped, sucked in all my breath, and said, "UUUGHH!" while throwing my hands into the air.
I. DON'T. LIKE. SNAKES.
I walked around cautiously for a week until the tall weeds got mowed down and eventually forgot about it. Until today.
I was casually feeding my little buddy, the deformed bull calf, when I happened to glance into the empty hut next to his, since we had a set of twins born last night (by the way, they are itty bitty, probably weighing less than all our cats put together) and I would be needing to find them a home outside.
There she was. Again. And she wasn't alone. She has a mate now. A small, 12-16 inch male live-in-boyfriend. And she looks pregnant. And just as creepy as I remember.
At this point I didn't have my camera, but I did want to take a picture of them, just so I could show it to my boss and make sure they were garder snakes and not some deadly venomous serpent that would require the National Guard or something (Yeah, I would call the National Guard to deal with a snake. I have a friend there, he's tough.).
I must have started smelling like fear, because all of a sudden the big snake noticed me staring at her and she got uncomfortable with the little snake slithering on her. And then for some unfathomable reason she left the unoccupied hut and slithered into the one of the calf that I was currently feeding, while the boyfriend disappeared.
I think Miss creepy was uncomfortable trying to go past the calf looming over her, because she went into the corner and stayed there, keeping her eye on him, but when I tried to walk away, past the hut, she had to dive to the other side so she could keep an eye on me too. By the time I came back from feeding the twins, I thought she would have followed her boyfriend and left, but nooooo, she was having a stand-off with bully.
I don't know for sure how long those two stared each other down, but I kept a pitch fork in one hand and a machete strapped to my other side just in case one of the creepy crawlies got within reach while I went about the rest of my chores. I really hope they have gone away and found a new home now so I don't have to see them around any more.